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1. |
Balance
00:41
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“I just keep losing. I mean, some people just suppose to lose? For balance in the universe? I mean, like are there just some people on Earth who supposed to be here to make it easier for the winners?”
“Atlanta” Season 1 Episode 1
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2. |
Prophecy
02:42
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“I don’t know what’s happening people. I don’t know. But it’s pretty clear the world is ending. But Evangelicals, and i’ll tell you, i’ll speak directly to you ‘cause this is a safe space. I’m scared. Because i didn’t realise this until recently, and it’s logical, but i didn’t put it together in my own mind. In quite the way i have now. Which is that in order for Jesus to come back the world HAS to end. Is there any way that they’re crafting policy to accelerate the prophecy?”
Marc Maron “End Times Fun”
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3. |
Sixty Three Percent
03:29
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“Sixty three percent of the electorate stayed at home. We deserve to die out, we deserve it. We don’t give a fuck. And the thirty seven percent of people who DO give a fuck are so busy screaming at each other ‘You fuckin nazis!’, ‘You fucking neo-liberal bastards!’. So busy hurling insults at each other, that they fail to realise that the majority, the vast majority, sixty three percent are so sick of it, that they don’t give a fuck anymore. They’ve given up!”
Jonathan Pie “Polarised Politics”
“It’s fashionable! It’s fashionable and i’m bored! It’s fashionable to give a shit, so i give a shit, but i don’t give a shit, not really, no one does. It’s too fucking huge for most people to give a shit. So we do what we can, we do our bits, knowing it would do nothing at all.”
Jonathan Pie “Pie Net Zero”
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4. |
Hopeless
01:29
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“You think i don’t care because i don’t yell stuff out like everyone does, but i do. I don’t wanna talk about it! What’s the point? Everybody i love has been here talking about it and none of you knows what the answer is. Honestly i don’t even know what the point is sometimes. I just feel hopeless.”
Black-Ish Season 2 Episode 16
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5. |
Community
04:22
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“Am i gonna forget where i come from? Of course i am. Like almost immediately. Like, i don’t even like the term ‘give back to the community’, because it implies the community gave me shit in the first place. Which they didn’t. Community didn’t give me shit. Community stole my bike. Fuck the community.”
Jerrod Carmichael “Love at the Store”
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6. |
A Goal
02:15
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“You know, if you’re trying to achieve a goal of creativity, the world doesn’t want you. The world doesn’t need art to survive. It should. In an ideal world it should. But it doesn’t technically need it.”
Jake Weisman “Unlicensed Therapy” Episode 35
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7. |
A Joke
02:26
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“I have no joy in life. And i think the longer you live as a drunk, you’re driven more by gut logic and instinct. And when you remove emotion from the equasion you go ‘everything’s kinda fucked, and none of it makes sense’. None of the human condition makes sense. It’s like tripping. I trip and see the big picture, that it’s all a joke, and i go, yes it’s all a joke. But the joke isn’t funny. I think the joke is fucking twisted and awkward, and most things about humanity are sad.”
Doug Stanhope at Tom Rhodes Radio
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8. |
A Pill
05:07
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“They’re trying to medicate you when you’re depressed, which is like insulting. You know those commercials ‘Are you down?’, yeah maybe i’m down ‘cause i notice there’s a lot of shit to be down about, what are you not seeing? Like, happy people, what the fuck?! Like, happy people should be medicated - that’s the illnes! That should be the commercial! The commercial shouldn’t be ‘Are you down?’, the commercial should be ‘Are you thrilled to be here? Take a pill you fucking sociopath!’.”
Drew Michael “The Half Hour Special”
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9. |
Coward
01:27
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“I just popped in to tell you that you’re a selfish cunt. You’re a pathetic coward and you don’t deserve all this care you’re getting. So here’s what you gonna do. You gonna stop drinking. You gonna stop drowning your sorrows and get through your day sober. And you will lay awake at night wishing you were dead, and you will wake up in the morning wishing you were dead, and you just gonna get through it. And that’ll keep going on, alright? You keep wishing you were dead, waking up wishing you were dead. But one night you’ll sleep, and one morning you’ll wake up wishing you were dead just a little bit less and then you’ll stop wishing you were dead altogether. And you’ll start wishing you had a better life. And then you’ll start living.”
"Derek" Season 2 Episode 7 aka Christmas Special
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10. |
Care
03:24
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“I got to tell you something and i don’t talk about this often. Have you ever worked all your life for something and have it not work out? That happened to me. It was tough, it was hell. I watched the world go on without me. I mourned the loss of it. And after a while, i didn’t care.”
Dave Chappelle @ Mark Twain Award 2019
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11. |
Photograph
03:20
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“The people are under a misapprehension that their life is like a motion picture and will be remembered as such, but it’s not. It’s just a photograph. A still photograph.”
Norm McDonald “Hitler’s Dog, Gossip & Trickery”
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